Stardate 6/26/2008: Coming Home is So Much Harder

Well, this is my last post about the Reynolds' experiences in Ukraine. We departed Kharkiv on May 24 by the early morning, express train to Kyiv with Ian the Brit. We had an excellent send off party with all of our close friends from Kharkiv (Mary, Frank, Ian, Igor, Sergey, Danil, Lesya, Tash, Anya, Vicki, Natasha, Sasha, etc)! It was a great day, my 40th birthday, and I will never forget this moment in my life. It was so fun with so many laughs! I really liked the mojitos that I had and thanks to Maxim for the ones he bought me on my b-day!

The next morning was a bit of a scramble to the train with our bags, but we had lots of help. Then came the hard part: saying goodbye to A, Vlad and VL. They had been our family and support system there and we will miss them everyday. There were tears, of course. But we have been in touch by email since then. Thank goodness, we figured out the correct email address!

We were met in Kyiv by Oleg and Sergey and they helped us deposit our large bags there until the following Tuesday when we had to meet our plane and depart Ukraine completely. From there, we got to our awesome apartment that Oleg arranged for us, which was right by Independence Square! Great location and comfy apartment.

We hung out and started partying immediately at 1pm. This party lasted late into the wee hours. We walked down Andrevsky's Descent for some time and ended up eating at Poozata Hata for the last time. Poozata Hata is definitely the quinessential Ukrainian comfort food. Later that night, we went to a bar to watch the Eurovision contest, which was completely new to P and me and baffling due to the strange voting system that is political and not based on talent. One of our good friends got trashed and was inciting folks by cheering on Russia! It was interesting, let's say... We did stay up talking and (some of us) drinking until 3am or so. We sat on Kreschatyk at an outdoor cafe that had great Irish coffees and warm English woolen blankets. It was a good time mostly.

The next couple of days, we spent time with friends seeing sights. We went to Ukrainian outdoor museum called Pirohiv/Pirogovo which was about village life with these really cool, authentic village houses. There were different regions of Ukraine represented in this very large museum. We spent the day with Ian and Oleg. Ian even tried some of the Ukrainian moonshine and fresh salo and pickles sold there by a local babushka. His face after drinking the moonshine was priceless! There were musicians and artisans all throughout the museum/park. And there were really cool traditional crafts: cross-stitched shirts, painted eggs, etc. But this museum was not over-commercialized like those in the west, which was a tremendous relief. There were so many various building spread out at the museum that it is a great walk. Near the windmills, Maddy rode a pony for a short ride. It was a beautiful day and the museum is a must see for anyone visiting Kyiv. We spent 6 hours there and walked a couple of miles, but had a great time, saw some cool buildings and had a lot of laughs.

Our last day in Ukraine, Sergey Tiki took us to two really cool places.

First, we went to St. Cyril's church which is a 14th century church that many tourists miss because it is off the beaten path ( you have to take a mashrutka and subways to get there). But it was super cool, maybe the coolest Eastern Orthodox church that we visited. Outside it was heavy, squat, white-washed and domed structure, but inside it was reminiscent of the Aya Sophia in Turkey only it was painted with the most exquisite frescoes in a luscious shade of blue. The subject matter of the frescoes was particularly interesting. There was one of an angel rolling out the heavens, and others of various biblical figures, church patrons and princes/princesses. The most similar aspect to the Aya Sophia was the almond shape of the icons' eyes. They were almost haunting. I'm so thankful Sergey took us there on his one day off a week!

Second, we visited a very sad place called "Babi Yar" the site where many, many of Kyiv's Jewish population were gunned down by the Nazi's. It is today a green, relatively well-maintained park in a suburb of Kyiv. In the 1930's/40's, it was a wooded area outside of the city. The area had steep gorges, so the German soldiers lined up the unfortunates and shot them at the edge of the gorge. Then, their bodies would fall into the gorge and the Germans would spread a thin layer of dirt over them to bury them. This gruesome spectacle continued on a daily basis for months. Today, the gorges are half full. There is this strange looking level surface in the middle of the gorge we visited. Underneath are thousand of human's remains. It was an odd place, but one that we definitely needed to visit for the history and to remember.

Our final evening in Kyiv was spent with Oleg. We hung out mellowly at the apartment and later went to dinner. Pat was wiped out from the weekend so stayed home with Maddy. Oleg and I walked the length of Kreschatyk and visited a church near our apartment. I tried to prolong that evening as long as I could, knowing saying goodbye to him would be the last and most difficult of Ukrainian goodbyes. It was painful, because saying goodbye to him meant saying goodbye to Ukraine and not knowing if we would ever return or see our friends again.

The next morning we were up and moving at 3am. The next 24 hours were a blur. We were suddenly home in the US and in Wisconsin. It was odd, like kissing an old boyfriend you haven't kissed in months: nice, comforting and strangely familiar.

We arrived in Eau Claire about 3pm the same day we left (May 28th). The house was is in fine shape. The cats were interested to differing degrees. Jack came up immediately, Seamus was fine within a couple of hours and thus all over us, and Howard took 24 hours to warm up. Then, everything was like we left it although there was a pile of mail to be sorted and the yard was in desperate need of spring maintenance.

Our reverse culture shock consisted of 1) how loud people are here 2) how helpful and friendly they are. I mean, they go out of their way to help you! 3) how wide the roads and how big the cars are. 3) how big, wait I mean fat, the people are (and I'm one of them). 4) how overwhelming the choices are in the grocery store and others as well. 5) how huge the platters of food at restaurants.

The Ukraine experience has changed us. We need less of everything from food to space to stimulation. We are lonely and long for people walking on the streets. We value our washing machine and dryer. We want to downsize our lives by getting rid of everything extra we don't use or need. We want to move overseas on a more permanent basis, because of the quality of life issues here. People are so busy stressing out over work and getting their kid to yet another soccer game that they don't ever spent any time with each other. They never seem content.

There are, of course, many things we value here like repairmen who come to your house and can fix your dryer or internet cable on the spot. Also, very valued- internet bill pay.

In conclusion, I believe that once you live in a place for a period of time and put down roots that part of you will always belong there. It's like being in love with two men at the same time. In my case, I fall in love with all the places I've lived and leaving them is difficult. We will always miss Ukraine, cherish our friends there, reminisce about our experiences, appreciate the Fulbright opportunity and want to return someday. Here's to hoping we can.

Thank you for reading. Good bye.