Stardate: Oct 22, 2007 Kyiv Hangover

We spent the weekend from overnight train departing on Wednesday at 10:50pm until Sunday morning at 6:25am. We took the ever-so-comfortable sleeper train for the 9 hour round trip excursion (They do have a high-speed train but it takes 5 hours and you only get a seat, not a bunk.) When you arrive in the morning in Kyiv, you are well rested and ready to go; You don’t have the travel stiffness or fatigue. This is the standard way that they have traditionally traveled in Ukraine since the country is so large.

We arrived on Thursday morning at 6:17am, Valera, the Fulbright driver, picked us up. He whisked us to a Ukrainian restaurant, Pecmopax Bapexuчxaя, for some good coffee and black currant Vareniky (Ukrainian dumplings, like perogies, but filled with anything sweet or savory that you desire). The restaurant was like a little diner, but in the Ukrainian tradition with one exception, they had a pet pot-bellied pig at the hostess’ desk. The little black pig, walked around the restaurant snorting after his breakfast of eggs, potatoes, and cheese. We thought it was a riot! Maddy was too afraid of him to get near him though.

Then we went onto our Independence Square flat (They don’t do hotels here. They rent flats because Western style hotels run about $200-300.00 a night. You can rent a furnished flat for about $100.00. Since we were going for the Fulbright Conference, they picked up the cost of a dorm room and we did the remainder). The flat was perfectly located with a view of Independence Square, where the Orange Revolution occurred. The large and famous Kreshchatyk street was in front of the building with all kinds of restaurants and stores. It ran into the Square where there were diverse of fountains and monuments. There were tributes to the Scandinavian founders of Keivan Rus, Independence (August 24, 1991), etc. While we were there, there was also a car show and Communist Party rally with about 200 old people nostalgic for the old days. We found a café about one block south on Kreshchatyk called “Double Coffee” where we ate most meals while we were there. Their bilingual Russian/English menu had everything from Sushi to typical American breakfast, borscht to mochas and salad nicoise. We were pretty comfortable there.

The first day, we got settled into the apartment and then immediately had to turn around and rush to meet some Fulbright families at the zoo. We took the young kids there, so that they would have something to keep them entertained and make the trip worth it. The Kyiv zoo was pretty good; it had a huge Bengal tiger, lions, an elephant, several zebras, camels, water buffalo, American buffalo, emus, ostriches, a hippo, a rhino, pink pelicans and storks, black swans, and a ton of other animals, that I cannot name. Maddy liked it pretty well, because it had a playground with a little turning carousel, a swing and a small slide that wasn’t made out of metal or 10 feet tall. She saw cotton candy for the first time, and asked for it…we pretended it was yucky. I think that’s okay. She eats enough sweets.

At 1pm, we had to rush back across town in a cab to meet the Fulbright arranged sitter, Marianne. She turned out to be a really cool and nice, 18 year old girl. We were really thankful for her help while we were there. Patrick and I changed and walked the block and a half to the Fulbright office for the second ½ of the days’ conference. We had lunch there-a typical Ukrainian spread of sliced sausage, ham and turkey, bread, tomatoes, pickles, bell peppers, rice and seafood salad. Then we had 2 good sessions. The 1^st was about the Bologna Process in Ukraine by Serhiy Zaitsev from the International Centre for Policy Studies (a Soros funded organization) and how it has forced some issues in education such as corruption and academic organization. The 2^nd one was on accomplishing your project here and dealing with the emotions of being outside of the US. They both were interesting. Next, we had a light dinner and I went to meet Pat and Maddy at the apartment. We took a walk on Kreshchatyk to watch some street musicians and to window shop.

Patrick took some time to shoot some video of a Communist Demonstration in Independence Square where the Orange Revolution occurred a couple of years ago.

Friday was a big conference day. After a brief breakfast with Oleg, Pat and Maddy at Double Coffee. I took a cab across town to the conference and was “taken for a ride.” Prior to getting into the cab the driver and I negotiated the price of H50.00 ($10.00) for the trip. Once we got there, when I handed him H50, he said no that it was H80 ($16.00), but I only had H50 notes on me. So, I asked him for change for H100.00, and he said he didn’t have change. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I looked around the cab for a restaurant or a street vendor to ask for change, but there were none in sight, just the conference center. So, I had to give him H100.00 for a H50. trip! I was pissed, but this is typical for Ukraine. Folks will take advantage of you however they can. Of course, the Fulbright was to reimburse me, but somehow that charge wasn’t included. Oh, well, at least I can claim it on my taxes.

At the conference, I heard several speakers, including William Taylor, U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine. The topics of the conference were mainly educational issues of corruption in admissions and grading, as well as the Bologna Process. One man, Volodymyr Kuznetsov, from the Institute of Philosophy & Law at Kyiv University and Vice Chairman of All-Ukrainian Association “For European Values in Science” spoke on the issue of professor quality (he wants more people to join the Association). He claims that most professors at Ukrainian universities are unqualified or outright fraudulent, because good portion of professors literally purchased their dissertations among other issues. The conference was held in Ukrainian, Russian and English; they provided headphones for use of the different language speakers, and there were 2 translators doing simultaneous translation in all the languages over the headphones. It was cool. For more on the conference, see Susan Benz’s blog

At 5:10pm, all the conference attendees loaded on busses for the long trek across town in Friday evening rush hour traffic in order to go to the Ambassador’s house for a reception. The house was located a couple of blocks from the Dnieper River in the area of Kyiv called Podil. You had to have your invitation to enter the large, luxurious yellow house which was heavily guarded at iron gates surrounding the premises. Once inside, we met the Ambassador and other Embassy officials. Patrick and I located the bar pretty quickly and got scotch (P) and a screwdriver (K). Professional servers floated through the crowds with great hors d’oevres: deviled eggs, caviar on mini toasts, salmon, mushroom quiches, fresh veggies and dip, as well as mini cakes and meringues. The Ambassador’s house was huge and built for entertaining. It even had an art exhibit. There were large salons open so people could mingle. We talked to Lillian Horodysky who in the Country Director for Children of Chornobyl Relief and Development Fund, Oleksandr Tokhtamysh, professor at Psychotherapy International Training Programs, Orysia Kulick, Research Editor for Alfa Capital, and Elise Garvey and Hans Stege, Fulbright students studying here. Hans went to UW-Madison and follows the pack. (Some of the links I have included are websites, others are blogs or emails; check them out…) Anyway, we had a good time, and then took off to see Oleg Yefimov.

Yep, folks who were in the TESOL Program and the fledgling TEFL program in 2001-2002 academic year, or who went to the Salt Lake City, Utah TESOL Conference in 2002, you will remember Oleg Yefimov. He lives in Kyiv and currently works as a news translator (Ukrainian, Russian and English) as well as a writer for a business magazine called “Business Ukraine.” It’s a good magazine with interesting articles.

We met Oleg on Friday night about 8pm and went to two different bars: Eric’s and some German bar. Eric’s was strange in that it had no signs or ads, you just went to the Lenin statue and turned down an alley. The unmarked door was on the left at the end of the alley tunnel. It looked like the entrance to someone’s house or into a hobbit hole. Once you were inside, it was like wine caves with stone domed, curve vaulted ceilings and lots of cubbies to get cozy. They served a wide variety of Ukrainian and European ales: Pat and Oleg had a Belgian triple, Leffe, and a Ukrainian white, Obelon. I returned to the flat to relieve the babysitter and I crashed. Pat and Oleg went on to another bar for more beers and some vodka.

Saturday morning, I forced myself out of the bed at 9am to meet Susan Benz to go to the Antiques Bazaar, but I was thwarted by a series of annoying occurrences that cumulated in an early return to the flat to bring Maddy some breakfast. I intend to go to the Antiques Bazaar at some point, though. One of the biggest annoyances was Valera (the Fulbright driver- who doesn’t really work for them, but helps them out); BACK STORY: we were told at the orientation in DC that he isn’t affiliated with the Fulbright, but that he does odd jobs for cash. Even though the implication was that Valera wasn’t the most savory character, I thought that it was cool that he was an entrepreneur hustling and working hard to make a buck. On our arrival to Kyiv in August, he met us and took us to an apartment, etc. He seemed hospitable. But the next day, he said the apt owner needed it at 10am for another renter. We ended up spending the whole day without a crash pad with a toddler who takes 2-3 hour naps and wait until 10:25 for the train to leave. We were jet lagged and Pat had to take a nap in a park that had no grass-just dirt. It was a memorable pain in the rump that was so inconvenient that Pat and I were kind of scarred from it. ;-) In planning this trip, I asked my Fulbright coordinator, Natalia Z, to book a flat for us through Sunday even if we had to pay more. She said that it would be done and we wouldn’t be charged extra. THIS WEEKEND: Valera was up to his old tricks. But this time, we weren’t as naïve or gullible as before. He called us at 11am and said that we needed to be out of the flat immediately even though we had tons of plans for the day and were away from the flat at the moment. His words to Pat were literally, “You have a problem.” I was so pissed that I just saw red. We had a promise from Natalia, we didn’t have to meet the train until 10:25pm that night and we had plans with Oleg for the day as well as a babysitter who had just arrived. Patrick told Valera that he didn’t understand what he wanted (Valera’s “Ingleesh is not too well”), so Pat put me on the phone. Valera couldn’t express himself well to me, so he said he would talk to Natalia Z and have her call us about the flat. Okay, I thought, “Bring it on, buddy. I’m not moving.” So, Natalia called us back and I told her absolutely not. She was totally fine with it and said that she would talk to Valera. He didn’t call us back about it either. Hm. Funny, it didn’t seem to be our problem, rather it was his. What he was trying to do was have the Fulbright pay for the night, and put another renter in for the same night, so he could take a cut of the cost of both parties for the same night! To do that to a family with a toddler, to be on the road for 11 hours without a bathroom, a bed, or a place to store your bags! It was just wrong. Later, when he picked us up to take us to the train, I was still smoldering. Pat was cool with him. He said that it was no big deal. Pat even tipped him H50 for the trip to the train station and for carrying the bags. I didn’t want to do that. I couldn’t even look at him I was so spitting mad. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me (he didn’t get to the 2^nd time thankfully). Or, as GWB says, “Fool me once, I’m a fool. Fool me twice, never get fooled again.” LOL! J

We did end up going to lunch and meeting Oleg for a city tour. So, we deposited Maddy back at the apartment with Marianna. We walked to a nice hotel where Oleg’s roommate and best friend, Sergey, works as a concierge. Sergey was friendly and spoke English well. He studied with Oleg in college, so they’ve known each other for a long time. Sergey and Oleg are going to try to come visit us in Kharkiv in November, I hope they do. Sergey gave Patrick some English newspapers, which pleased Pat considerably. Then, we walked uphill to the impressive Kyiv Opera, to the under-renovation Golden Gate where the Mongols first surged through the protective fortifications of Kievan Rus where we met up with a fellow Fulbrighter, Susan Benz, and then we walked on to Saint Sophia, the statue of the revered and famous Khmelnytsky, and to the newly rebuilt St. Michael’s Church. Outside we saw a traditional "Cossack" bandura player. With our heads covered, we entered the beautiful periwinkle church for a view. It was also gilded and painted with Christ, the Madonna, St. Michael and other saints. There were icons in intricately patterned gold relief. At the entrance, there was a cool, but scary series of paintings of hell or the apocalypse. We briefly encountered some American guys from Tennessee when we left; they wanted the Titans’ football scores, but we didn’t have them.

As we made our way to Andrevsky’s Descent, which is an old, cobble-stoned, winding road with artists and souvenir sellers, I was persuaded to buy some postcards from an old babushka who said, “Help me.” With a sign, I bought the postcards and a hematite bracelet with icons on it for a total of H22.00. Ironically, she wouldn’t give Sue the same price for 2 of the same bracelets (H7.00 each) just one minute later. I felt bad for Sue, but she was okay with it. We walked down the Descent and saw so many cool Ukrainian arts, crafts, antiques, and souvenirs that I started hearing a chant in my head, “I want, I want, I want.” Pat calls them the “I wanna wants.” Anyway, there were some cool things there, like traditional embroidered clothing, the nesting dolls, and an antique Cossack pipe that I thought my dad would like for his collection of pipes. I didn’t buy any of these things though. I did purchase a replica poster of USSR propaganda that said say no to alcohol-Yeah right! I picked up a couple of little handmade toys for Maddy (a whistle and a knit kitty). I saw several good paintings of which I wanted to buy one of a Jewish scholar reading a Hebrew paper. It was a good painting, but I didn’t buy it. How would I get it back? We also saw some Ukrainian street performers.

At the end of our walk we went to a café for a bit of warming up. Susan left us soon after. We went back to the flat to meet Maddy, but she and Marianna had done to a puppet show in Russian of Cinderella. So, we had some beers and cognac, rested and talked with Oleg. He is so much fun and such a nice guy. We all didn’t have a spare moment when we weren’t in conversation about some topic. It is difficult to remember all the things we talked about, but some of them were his involvement in the Orange Revolution, his take on Ukrainian and Russians in Ukraine, his job, life, girlfriend, family, Eau Claire, TESOL, etc. Of course, I think we talked more than he did, but with us that is common. ;-)

After Maddy got back from the puppet show, we had some dinner at “The Wall” café. At the café, one can graffiti the walls, so I wrote our names and the date as well as a tribute to Renee Chatham. I wrote the rhyme I’m a Little Teapot and drew a teapot. I hope you think that’s funny, NéNé. I also hope you weren’t too drunk that night on the train to NYC to remember it! Oleg left us then and we gathered out junk for the trip to the train station and the train home. It was so great to see him especially to see him in his country. It really shows you a lot about your students. We are also getting to know each other on a more personal level, too.