Ukraine Revisited in Jan 2009

As most of you know, I was working in Ukraine doing some teacher training of English language teachers for the U.S. State Dept. I had a grant to train teachers in language assessment techniques. What you probably don't know is that I was revisiting Kharkiv, the city where we lived last year for 9 months, and seeing many, many good friends there. This was an awesome trip!

Originally, I was scheduled for 6 days in Kharkiv, but due to the 25 hour flight delay in Boston (which wasn't a total waste of time), I arrived in Kyiv, Ukraine one day late reducing down the total days in Kharkiv to 5. I was met at the Kyiv Bosoripil airport by a driver, and after obtaining 50 hryvnias in Kyivstar phone card service, was conducted seemlessly to a waiting car and onto the Ukrainian highway on a 5 hour drive from Kyiv to Kharkiv. It was butt cold that evening, so when we stopped at an utterly Ukrainian roadside market, I got some chai, and my Russian started floading back to me, greatly surprising me. I arrived at the Chichikov Hotel (a 4 star rarity in Ukraine) at midnight to anti-jetlag to sleep for an early morning wake up call for work. I had 4 hour workshop sessions 6 days a week for my workshop in Kharkiv and the one in Yalta.

After an excellent breakfast by the hotel's French chef, I was met by Olia, my grant co-author and teacher at the Lyceum Professional in Kharkiv. We walked briskly the mile or so to the school, past all of the so familiar haunts of ours from last year. It was so comforting to be at home there. The room where I presented my workshops was even the same classroom in which I gave a workshop last May. Other familiar faces, like Oksana, Irina and Alex who are teachers from the Lyceum, were there and greeted me with tremendous warmth. I also made new friends, like Vadimir and Vera.

Each day in Kharkiv was like a whirlwind. I worked intensely for 4 hours, mostly trying to get the more reticent, and weaker English speaking teachers, to interact with the material. The stronger teachers excelled easily and were a pleasure to collaborate with. Immediately after each workshop, I tried to nap, if possible, or meet with friends, and former students and colleagues from the Kharkiv Polytechnic, where I taught last year.

The first evening free, after meeting Antonina and Vasilisa Badan for an afternoon tea, I rendezvoused with Ian the Brit, Mary and Frank of Kenya. We met at Stargorod, a Czech-style beer hall complete with half-naked go-go dancers in quasi-Ukrainian peasant wear, a crappy folk and pop singing MC, and the occasional male stripper. We were given Goodfella-type service with an impromtu table provided by our friend Merkan, who greeted me warmly with "Where's Patrick?" This was the most common question I received during my time in Kharkiv and was typically followed by "Where's Maddy?" :-)

During our long evening of feasting, catching up and telling stories, and merriment, we drank excellent site-brewed Pilsners punctuated with regular toasts and shots of vodka. The vodka there is SO MUCH BETTER than here!!! They serve it in carafes, too. hehehe. At the end of the night around 3 am, we had danced on the tables, Ian did an impression of the Full Monty, and we generally acted like drunken fools. Frank didn't have a reprieve from the older Ukrainian women requesting that he dance with them. Mary was also popular as a dance partner, but was most floored by the "spare stall" in the ladies room. I found it by accident on a trip to the toilet; it was the last stall in the row and the others were inhabited. In this stall was a plush red velvet ottoman that stretched the width of the stall. There were pictures of naked people getting busy on the wall, and a door on the other side of the ottoman (which clearly led to the men’s bathroom located next door). Mary was floored by this revelation! Clearly, this establishment aimed at serving its clientel! Ukrainians don’t seem to be the prudish and hypocritical people we see elsewhere….

Next day, work (tired, jet-lagging and a bit hung over) went well. Photos were being taken regularly throughout these sessions, only later I discovered why. During the walk home, I was hit on by a very handsome Azerbajian man in an Armani suit who followed me to my hotel to ask me out through the hotel clerk translator! LOL! That night I met with former students at Puzata Hata, which humorously means pot-bellied house (or peasant), but in reality translates to Ukrainian–themed, fast-food restaurant. It was packed when we arrived, so we ended up in a children’s play room, which seemed oddly fitting to my way of thinking. ;-) 20 former students showed up and we ate, drank, smoked, and caught up. It was so good to hear how they were faring in their studies of English and German Translation and Interpretation, but mostly to hear the gossip! We were kicked out as the restaurant closed at 11pm, so some close friends (Ian the Brit, Ian’s girlfriend Helen, Igor and Danil) all walked back along the icy streets to my hotel with me. We lingered over drinks and smokes in the hotel bar with Ian regaling us with Kharkivan mafia stories and the movement of Barabashova market until 4am. Had some absinthe for the first time; didn’t care for it, don’t like licorice or the migraine in the morning.

Next day, slept until 1pm only to jump up migraine-ridden from my down- and linen-lined nest to rush to shower off the 2nd hand smoke stench and make-up my pale face for a house party/ barbeque at Olia’s place in the southern suburbs of town. This Sunday afternoon and evening turned into the quinnessential Russian/Ukrainain meal and drinking fest that one hears told of in tour-book warnings of endless toasts of vodka that paralyze and decapacitate. It was a blast! Starting at 2pm, Vladimir and Alex alternated playing the guitar and singing Russian and Ukrainian folk tunes. We had shashlyk of curried pork (an “exotic” treat of Vladimir’s making), several Ukrainian composted salads (not green salads) like salad Olivier, pickles (of course!), etc, etc. There was so much food on the table for the 5.5 hours I was there, I thought it would be for leftovers. Oddly, folks just kind of munched for hours with the nonstop rounds of traditional toasts to love and women. I had to leave the table sadly at 7:30pm, and rush to the Badan’s for another dinner, but the others didn’t finish until 11pm that night.

At the Badan’s we had a traditional fish dish and looked at photos while they did my smoke-drench laundry for me. I was paper-thin with exhaustion when I left at 10:30pm for the 2 block walk to my hotel.

Next day, Monday, work (even more tired), went smoothly. I made some intellectual connections for myself during the work and drew some visuals that will help me in the future. Teachers were getting it and doing well, I thought. Vladimir escorted me along the bumpy, ice and snow encrusted sidewalks back to my hotel. That night, connected with Lesya, a former student, at the McDonald’s on Pushkinskaya where Patrick and Madeline and I had spent so much time last year. We walked in the biting cold to Independence Square, the largest in Europe, to a Japanese restaurant that Lesya liked. The Square was full of illuminated ice sculptures in celebration of the New Year and Eastern Orthodox Christmas on Jan 7th as well as a snow-trimmed Lenin statue. Lesya and I had a calm meal of sushi and chatted about the possibility of her coming to UWEC to study. I think she will come.

Tuesday, my last full day in Kharkiv, was packed. Over breakfast, I met a nice man named Roland from Switzerland. Then, worked to conclude the workshop series starting at 9am. At the end of the session (1:30pm), the school owner gave a little champagne celebatory party for all the workshop participants. I was given many wonderful gifts, including a poster of pictures of myself from Vladimir, who had developed a crush on me. It was great working with the Lyceum staff and making new friends there! I do hope to return to work with them in the future. Vladimir escorted me to the Paris Café on Pushkinskaya at 2:30pm where I was supposed to meet my former students Sergey the Clown, Danil, Igor, and Olia, and later to meet Vicki and Natalia, who are instructors from the Polytechnic at 3:30pm, but this is Ukraine and it was exam time. The students didn’t show and all for different reasons ranging from I had an unexpected exam (which does happen there) to we broke up and I cannot be around him/her right now. The teachers also didn’t show up, because of a previously unscheduled exam that suddenly cropped up. Vladimir and I, in the meantime, had some cappuccinos and French pastries, tried to communicate between our languages since either of us spoke the other language, and waited. Finally, around 4pm, Vladimir escorted me back to my hotel, where I collapsed in sleep to prep for dinner that night. Ian the Brit and Helen had Mary, Frank 2 other Kenyans as well as 3 Ugandan friends over to their place for dinner. Met Helen and grabbed some Kharkivan champagne at Pushkinskaya metro and walked the 2 blocks to they apartment. Their love shack was literally built as a love shack for hourly rendezvous of a sexual nature. Hysterically, there are mirrors everywhere, an enormous bar and a tub that could fit about 6 adults! Our African friends arrived and we proceeded to eat, drink and get silly (again!). My new Suisse friend, Roland, joined us at 11pm. We had an excellent meal, needed to run out for more champagne and discussed politics until late. My Suisse friend hit on my over tea in the hotel bar that night; Man, it is a boost to my deflated 40-year old ego! Barely got any sleep that night as I had to meet the Badans at 4am to drive me to the Kharkiv airport for flights to Kyiv and onto Simferople.

I arrived exhausted in Kyiv where I met up with Alyona, my State Dept colleague, and went onto Simferople. We cabbed it 1.5 hours for 400 hryvnia to Yalta. We checked into the Hotel Bristol near the embankment. I had a 3 hour workshop that afternoon, and was pretty damn wiped out by the time Alyona and I had a quiet and delicious dinner at Hoterock restaurant. Alyona and I developed a friendship and had a good time over the next couple of days until she needed to return to Kyiv on Friday.

The teachers in Yalta had a totally different professional situation than the ones I’d seen in Kharkiv. These teachers generally (with the exception of the Lyceum teachers) tended to have stronger English skills. They also had smart board technology in every classroom. The school I presented at was called the School of the Future, and it was clear to me why—modern, well-run, and high tech! I was jazzed to work on a smart board and learned how to use it to my presentation’s advantage. The teachers were excellent: they did their homework, came prepared, participated, and learned the material. At the end of the 6 days of workshops, they presented their performance assessments, instructional objectives and rubrics. I was so proud! The teachers gave me many gifts, one of which was a handmade clay and mosaic-tiled bowl of Crimean Tartar style. I adore it!

During my free time in Yalta, I typically took long walks along the embankment, listened to the crashing waves or admired the snow streaked mountains that embraced this small town, had chai, browses the souvenir stalls and the artist’s wares and took photographs. I finished my book, Prague, and started a new one, Marco Polo: From Venice to Xanadu. I met some guys, Vasily and Sasha, on my last morning there who were nursing hangovers from a staff party the night before (this was 10am) with a bit of the hair of the dog. Vasily hit on me! He thought I was 30, what a joke! Guys will say anything, won’t they?

Next day, due to typically obtuse and confusing directions at the airport, I missed my flight, so I had to sit around the Simferople airport and miss Obama’s Inaguration. :-)

I arrived in Kyiv late in the evening only to slip and fall none-too-gracefully during deplaning, which resulted in myriad bruises and an annoying broken toe. All this was forgotten though when I connected with Oleg at the voksal! It was excellent to see him! We took the mashrutka to Oleg’s apartment and had several drunken texts and calls from Sergey Tiki! Upon arrival at the apartment, I was greeted by the none-too-sober Sergey yelling from the 4th floor window! It was great to be with such good friends. We had a nice dinner, vodka, wine, cognac, and hung out. I gave the guys their gifts of heavy books on the history of the Nazis (Sergey, a military nut), and business valuation/ mergers and acquisitions (Oleg, a finance guru). Also, gave Oleg a Mickey Mouse calendar. They loved them. We told stories, laughed, discussed our mutual friends, etc. I encouraged Oleg AGAIN to come to the US for study or an internship in finance. We stayed up until the wee hours talking and laughing. Sergey was so pissed drunk that he kept hugging me and telling me how great it was to see me! I love my friends!!

The guys both took of work the following day, and after a late start, we went to the Pinchuk Modern Art Museum, which is just off Khreschatyk in the center of the city. I’d hear great things of it, but was more than impressed by this museum. I’d been to MoMA in NYC, but I liked this modern art museum far better. It wasn’t as bleak as MoMA. It was approachable, human, and almost lyrically playful. Some of our favs were: the conductor and orchestra without instruments, the breathing photos and particularly the Klitchko brothers, the Russian train schedule, the people-chickens in the boxes, and the factory worker reality room with the cigarette-butt star. We had a relaxing espresso at the museum’s 4 floor café with a slice of the Kyiv skyline to admire. At that moment in time, with my two very close friends, having time to think, analyze and reflect on the nature of humanity in the art exhibits, I was blissfully happy. I didn’t have the Prague syndrome at all (the endless and unsatisfying desire to be elsewhere due to the misguided belief that things are better elsewhere). Later, we walked up Khreshchatyk and we purchased some gifts for friends back home, like vintage Soviet-era military pins and Ukrainian music. We headed up the hill around 4:30pm only to arrive at Saint Sophia, the acclaimed 11th century church, late. For the 4th time, I couldn’t see the churches interior. It only means that I’ll need to come and try again! Next we walked to St. Michael’s and took the funicular down the hill to Podil, where we visited the Puzata Hata for cerniki.

We rushed through rush-hour traffic back to Sergey and Oleg’s place and finally rendezvoused with Alyona for dinner at Natsunalnoy Koohni (I may have transliterated it wrong) Restaurant. We were greeted at this famous, traditional Ukrainian restaurant by a embroidered and skirted Ukrainian mama with a tray of shots of homemade vodka, moonshine and some berry/cinnamon liquor and the pervasive pickle chasers. We did some shots and were escorted through this Ukrainian fairy-tale styled world to our table. We had a great meal with white Georgian wine (I had vareniki), and listened to folk musicians and singers. We laughed and told stories. At the end of the evening, we finished our excursion with more shots “for the ride” (in this case walk) home. We said our goodbyes to Alyona and returned to Oleg and Sergey’s place to watch Pineapple Express.

My flight was very early the next morning, so I barely got any sleep. The guys both got up about 4:30am to see me off. The trip home was quick and event-free. I got back by 4pm Jan 22nd. It was a very quick, but rewarding trip on many levels. Ukraine in an interesting place that is oddly like home for me now and has a different sort of freedom than the US. I will greatly miss my Ukrainian, Russian, Kenyan, Ugandan, and Suisse friends!!